The Most Unpoorganic Thing I Do

Dread Skeeter, the mosquito eliminator

I have an admission. There is one particular thing I do that is totally, completely, and in every way, NOT POORGANIC.

It is expensive. Heart-stopping and take a giant gulp expensive.

It is not organic.

I cannot find the money in another way, such as couponing. I just have to yank healthy food out of my kids’ mouths to make this expense possible.

It is extravagant and ridiculous and probably bad for the environment AND TOTALLY AWESOME.

This year, for the second year in a row, I have paid $550 to have our yard sprayed by Mosquito Squad.ย  In their hasmat looking suits, they come every three weeks from April-October. They fumigate under the leaves in our woods and all areas where mosquitoes breed. (They don’t spray my garden or compost.) We have to stay inside for one hour. The mosquitoes, die, or aren’t born, or don’t lay eggs.

Then . . . we leave the confines of our 1100 square foot winter dungeon.

We go out.

We play.

We don’t put on bug spray.

We don’t put on calamine.

We don’t reapply bug spray after running through the sprinkler.

We play at dusk.

We play at dawn.

Dylan does not get bites which subsequently turn into hard, red swollen infected nodules of horror.

If too many mosquitoes reappear before the three weeks elapse, we call and they come spray again FOR FREE. (There is a 90% fewer mosquitoes guarantee.)

We don’t have to worry with ineffective and overpriced bug zappers that don’t work.

I don’t have to spray toxic, irritating chemicals on my kids’ bodies.

I don’t feel infuriated by the utter futility of natural remedies tantamount to wiping steak on a child and sending him into a lion’s den.

Our gorgeous backyard

Just in case you are wondering, I don’t work for Mosquito Squad. I’m not an affiliate, and I won’t get a discount if you call them. If I did get a discount, it would be poorganic, but as I have already said, this is the most unpoorganic thing I do.ย 

But . . .sometimes I think about how I love them and want to marry them– if marrying pest elimination companies was actually possible. ๐Ÿ™‚ Here’s the link again. Also, if you think I am evil for engaging in this polluted and heinous indulgence, you are hereby NOT invited to come play in our delightfully, woodsy and mosquito-free yard. Neener-neener.



7 thoughts on “The Most Unpoorganic Thing I Do

  1. Neener-neener total makes this post! You are so funny. I grew up near swampy marshes and some days you couldn’t tell if it was skeeters or birds. They were huge and noisy and evil! All those disease they carry too. Evil for sure.

    Good for you and your family. Enjoy your warmer days!
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  2. This is hilarious! I agree, the neener-neener is the perfect cap on the post, although the “tantamount to wiping steak on a child and sending him into a lion’s den” is my personal favorite line. ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Actually, mosquitoes are very territorial (apparently), so it might be more effective than you think. Also, depending on the size of your lots, you might be able to go in together for a spray. Our lot is a half acre for that price, so if you have smaller yards, maybe you could get a two for one? It’s worth asking.

  3. When I lived in a mosquito-dense area, I totally would have paid for this if I knew it existed!

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