Finding the REST of My Faith

Back in the olden days, I only had one child. This child, sweet Addie, was and is, my best sleeper. In fact, both her father and I were pretty darn good sleepers too.  The amount of crazy going on when she was born is mind-numbing to consider now.  We moved 4 times before she was 5 months old. One of those moves was across the planet.  And yet, when the time came to unplug the old brain, somehow, I was able. Maybe more significantly though, SHE slept, well . . . . like a baby. On every journey, she was unperturbed by the constant change. Notice how both J and I have our arms tucked around her, holding her safely? Apparently, that was enough.
 
These days, having lived in the same house for nearly seven years, but with two more, less-sleepy children, rest is more elusive.  As I stated in my previous post, He Makes Me Lie Down, finding rest is not my forte.  Maybe I lack trust in My Father?

Moreover, I’ve come to discover that I’m not the only one with this problem.  Many other women have agreed that having the peaceful, quiet, contented life advocated in Scripture is easier said than done.

AND YET, dang it if I don’t still STRONGLY believe that this Biblical promise of peace and rest is for REAL. Surely God is not dangling this rest-carrot in front of me to toy with me and cause me to run myself ragged with frustration and disappointment?

I’ve concluded that I need to readjust what I think, and know, and believe, about peace and rest, digging into Scripture and ferreting out the truth. 

I know that there are dozens of Christian books on this subject and plenty of teachers who could inform my learning, but at this stage, I really feel the need to plunge in myself.  While I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE a great dynamic teacher and a well written Bible study, sometimes afterwards, I feel like I am incapable of opening God’s Word on my own. Oftentimes, the week after a powerful study finishes, my Bible sits limply on my lap, and I feel inadequate to learn anything on my own.

Here’s a word picture. From the time they are little, I cut my children’s food for them. In fact, when they were tiny, I mashed and pulverized it so they could digest it.  But now, they can pretty much all cut their own food. In spite of this, they will often ask or demand that I cut up their food for them, making it palatable. The thing is: they need to be able to cut up their food WITHOUT ME. 

Similarly, I think we as women need to graduate to the point where we are ABLE and willing to dig into God’s Word ourselves, without always having a printed study or video teacher to walk us through, dissecting and digging out truth for us.  This is not to discount or eliminate the benefit of these books and study resources. Definitely not.  I just know that at this stage, God is challenging me and maybe YOU, to see what I can do with His Word and His Spirit to guide us.