Contentment Story Take II

Tonight I went on girls night out with some friends. Our conversation reminded me of this post from last March.  Since I’ve just had sick kids and discontent in my house over the past week, I’m recapping this lesson for myself and you. ENJOY!

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Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about contentment or the lack thereof. It seems that our culture craves contentment, but gives way to discontent pretty quickly. I, myself, recently dealt with this struggle. Here’s the story.

 

At the National Board Certification Banquet: Please say all that work was not just for this classy plaque.

Day 1: The News

My husband tells me that it is likely his National Board Certification supplemental pay will be cut next year. Three years ago NC teachers salaries were frozen; however, teachers who have National Board Certification receive a supplemental pay increase based on the credential.  The loss of this money will be a big deal. We respond by trying not to think about it. We can be content, right? Denial is the same as contentment, right?

Day 2: Research

With the media ramping up coverage of the drama about WI teachers’ pay cuts, we start researching how our state compares. Of course, NC teachers make far less than the WI teachers, but that is hardly the issue for the NC press coverage that just likes to emphasize how teachers get summers off. Without more tax revenue (anyone, anyone?), teachers’ pay, the main expense of state governments, has to be cut. Since my husband is a music teacher, his job has been on the chopping block several times before. In fact, in 2002, his position was cut entirely and he had to get a job in a different county. Given the option between a pay cut and a lost job, we can FORCE ourselves to be content with the pay cut. Wait. If you say “Force ourselves to be content,” I’m pretty sure that is actually not contentment. That is resignation.

Day 3-7 Whining and Throwing “the Man” Under the Bus

I begin to tell everyone I know about this terrible impending possibility. Of course, the government officials (losers and under-valuers of education) are to blame first. Secondly, (sorry entire family) I blame all uber-conservative Republicans who refuse to let their property be taxed to astronomical proportions. I can see the argument, but mamma’s gotta eat. Thirdly, um let’s see, the system. Fourthly, THE MAN, whoever he is. My clincher is the fact that not one job, known to me, that requires a four year college degree would pay an individual with 13 years experience so little money. Okay, I concede, maybe missions.Contentment has been replaced with righteous indignation. Moreover, I am hoping to make lots of other people feel indignant on my behalf. Or they just feel awkwardly guilty and look around for an escape from this tense conversation.

 

The morning she was released feeling MUCH better.

Day 8: Hospital

In the midst of our escalating worry, Addie is sick. I take her to the doctor after several days of fever, coughing and vomiting. She just seems very lethargic. He immediately sends us to the ER where she is admitted overnight for severe dehydration. I barely wince as I put the $250 ER copay on the credit card. Contentment has been replaced by survival mode.

Day 9: Home

In ONE day, our family and friends provided us with meals, prayers, help, babysitting and encouragement. Addie is much improved after great care at the hospital. Contentment doesn’t have a financial component today.

Day 10: Worry

Before I can think, “Will I be able to pay that hospital bill?”, we get our tax return. Yipee. I also get a whopping mental nudge to hurry up with my Save to Give Match for Jan and Feb, so I get right on that. This stewardship thing is a two way street I recall. Also, I recall that contentment is a two way street. I must chose it. Or I must ask for it. Or . . . how I am suppose to get the ever elusive contentment?

Um . . . do I need a reason to include this adorable photo? Hmm . . "Content with a Cookie." How is that?

Day 11: Perfect Peace

I’ve made this story a bit more linear than it really was. I can only wish that the day labeled “Worry” was really in the past to stay. I’m sure it isn’t. What has struck me lately was that, in spite of all my declarations as a blogger and person about being “Simplified . . .Satisfied” or whatever, contentment wasn’t mine for the taking when the going got rough. Being content with a simple life really comes down to a choice more than a state of being.

After we got “The News,” somewhere in my head and heart, I made a choice to be discontent, to be unhappy, to worry, and to be fearful. Rather than trusting what I KNOW unequivocally to be true in my experience, that GOD always comes through, that He will provide, that we will have enough, that we are and will be fine, I was wallowing around in a healthy dose of “woe is me” and an overdose of “everyone else is better off than me.”

Some of you may know that I taught a budget class early this year during which the Lord really struck me with the passage Isaiah 26:3-4, “You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, He is the Rock Eternal.” There is just SO much in that statement that I could elaborate on the sheer AWESOMENESS of, but perfect peace. . . . I mean . . . PERFECT PEACE!

That is what I want. I want PERFECT PEACE. I don’t want happiness. I don’t want resignation. Even satisfaction sounds pretty lame and “settled” by contrast.

Now, let me be clear. I am under no illusions that trusting in God will mean that teachers’ pay won’t be cut, or that J will keep his job, or that we will be financially secure. To be quite honest, I think God will enthusiastically unsettle any security that might tempt me to trust it instead of him, the ROCK ETERNAL. I think for many of us, our ROCK ETERNAL, is not always God. (Bank of Granite, anyone?) This passage doesn’t promise financial peace or security. It just . . .if I dare say just . . .promises p-e-r-f-e-c-t peace, which isn’t a commodity. It promises a peace that passes all understanding and defies quantification.

Contented kids building TP Towers

So, I’m doing some thinking about contentment these days. And I’m trying to figure out how to truly embrace that perfect peace in the midst of cut salaries, whining kids, diaper changes, trips to the ER, floors that don’t stay clean, kids that don’t stay healthy, and a heart that keeps wanting to whine and worry. I might need to be on this topic for a while.

What do you think? What makes you discontent? Content? How have you moved from one to the other? Comment or message me your story.

I’m linking up to Painting Prose, Life Unmasked, and Thought Provoking Thursday.

6 Responses to Contentment Story Take II

  1. Spring B. March 1, 2012 at 12:43 pm #

    Love this post! After some drastic health changes over the last four years, I have finally learned to recognize how much of what I saw as challenge and chore is really opportunity for contentment and joy. Praising our God of perfect peace with you today. :)
    Spring B. recently posted…Just GranolaMy Profile

    • Katrina March 1, 2012 at 4:06 pm #

      Yes. I think we think contentment is circumstantial and really it is experiential–if that makes any sense. :) Thanks for your comment.

  2. Rebecca March 1, 2012 at 3:39 pm #

    Thank you for this post. I am blessed by your honesty and openness. I struggle with allowing discontentment to flood my life very easily. The verse you wrote was good stuff. perfect peace…Isaiah 26:3-4, “You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, He is the Rock Eternal. I try to stop my minds turning and start focusing on God alone. not myself. turn on praise and worship music or start listing the things that make me thankful or read the psalms. Expectation, too high or unfulfilled, make me discontent. Comparing myself to others is another place that makes me discontent. And forgetting what I am called to do right now in my life and doing it with perseverance and joy makes me discontent. Getting the focus off me and onto God, that makes me content.
    Feel free to stay on this topic for a while. I think you are a gifted writer and God has blessed me through you. Thank you. I’ll be praying for you and your family. :)

    • Katrina March 1, 2012 at 4:08 pm #

      If you want to hear a song that will help you memorize that verse go to Seeds Family Worship Listen Online. Select Vol 3: Seeds of Praise. It is track 5. Maybe it will be “Y verse.” :)

  3. kd sullivan March 7, 2012 at 10:13 am #

    Since this is an old post, I would love to find out how it all worked out! Can you send me some links so that I can read the rest of the story? Thanks for joining at Painting Prose! I hope you are able to join us again this week…and I’m praying that all is well in your home.
    kd sullivan recently posted…Dissatisfied With Heaven’s BreadMy Profile

    • Katrina March 7, 2012 at 11:38 am #

      Well, we are STILL working on contentment, but the Lord is still providing. The National Board Pay was cut somewhat, his salary is still frozen, but God continues to enable us to live and give on his provision. :) I am getting a little better about not freaking out when the storm clouds come. Now I just look up and say, “I bet you’ve got an umbrella for this, right?!” 😉 Thanks for reading.