Summer Vacation Day 3
When I was young and hairless and svelt, I was paralyzed by anxiety and modesty; thus, I hated you.
Now I am nigh on thirty-three, pruney, with a body thrice ravaged by childbirth; thus I am resigned to you.
However, based on what I’ve seen today at the beach . . .
when I become an old leather saddle
with tiny boobs that sag like a half filled sandwich bag
with the anxiety of youth and the vanity of middle age far behind
. . . then I will befriend you, tattoo you, bikini you, and show you to the sun.
Just know, Body-o-mine, your day is coming. Wrinkle up Girl!
The Low Ryder
Dear Low Ryder,
Our butt cheeks are hanging out of this bathing suit. No one wants to see that.
P.S. Wrinkle your own self up, you ungrateful skinny Hag!